My Happy Ending
by SarcasticLemon
Summary: My storys is not a happy one, its actually quite dark, but this is my life, and not every story has a happy ending. Lily is in a life of solitude, alone. But something happens that she never expected. CHAP 6 UP!
1. Default Chapter

**My Happy Ending  
  
Disclaimer: I Own Nothing Harry Potter.  
  
Chapter 1: Hazel Eyes  
  
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It was dark outside.. thunder clouds coming overhead, a streak of white lightning lit up the sky, the rain pelted down, like the sky was crying, I sat there alone in the dorm, the emptiness in my mind, a void in my hart, there was nothing I could do to solve it.  
  
Me, Lily Evans, never used to feel like this, I used to feel like there was something to live for, but somehow the darkness and my fears over came my own happiness. I don't know exactly how or even when it happened, but all I know it that I secluded my self from the outside world. And that is how I want it to stay.  
  
I am pretty popular, I don't exactly know how I got like that, no clue at all, I know that I shouldn't be, I have no real friends, it is all superficial, all fake. I guess the only reason why I am popular it because of the way I look, I don't look good, but somehow I people think I do, but It doesn't go to my head I really don't even care.   
  
Some people thrive on the attention from people but me, I thrive on the darkness, I live the thoughts of my own existence, I don't care for anyone but the emptiness that consumes me, the nothingness that I feel.   
  
Most people I have herd thinks that I am kind, sweet, I guess that is true but I don't care, all I do is make polite conversation, just give then what they want a smile here a hi there. Nothing serious, nothing real. I closest thing I have to a friend is Remus Lupin, the only one who has thought enough about me to actually care, to get to know the real me, or the realist me I can deal with. He was and to this day the only one who cares. Who tried to be my friend.   
  
I am grateful for him, he shows me in our short the conversations that I have with him that he does care that he wants to know me, I guess in a way gives me hope. But some people like his friends, just get higher on the popularity ladder for being seen with me. Fine whatever, I am used to it by now.  
  
There are laughing and the pattering of feet and in come my four dorm mates, oh great, now I have to pretend to give a crap about them, pretend to be their friend.  
  
"Lily!" Oh it was Jade, out of all the girls in our year she was the closest one to whom I could relate with. Pretty yes, popular yes, nice most of the time, but she had her own world and I have mine, she had her parties her dances and I had drawing and running, she loved attention, and I well don't.  
  
"Oh hello, what are you doing back up here Jade? I thought there has a party in the common room 4th years and up?" I say sweetly I can go from total solitude to the fakest cheerful act if it meant showing my weakness, my hurt.  
  
"Well, you see from the state of my robes that Mr. Black dumped punch on me.. but what are you going to do?" She says as she stares to get undressed and into another set of robes.  
  
"Yeah... what." I say as I start to look out of the window again, start to consume myself more in the thoughts that I have hanging over my head. There was suddenly something that poisoned me that entered my body, it was hard to explain. Without a word I left the room.  
  
Downstairs there was the usual crowed around Potter and Black. The blonde skinny ones... the popular ones. But as I entered that room, the venom of the poisen that I felt engulfed me, I could not breath and everything started to spin. I shot a glance at the one place that I know would pay attention. His hazel eyes met mine as I came crashing to the ground. A murmur is herd and I am gone.   
  
I wake up in a cold sweat to find that I am asleep by the window, every one is asleep, "It was a dream..." I tell myself, but I think who has those hazel eyes that have been haunting me... who is poisoning my thoughts, who have I turned to? I cant think of any one who has such beautiful eyes, who makes me feel like this and I am scared. It is dark out still but I am awake.  
  
I go down to the common room and feel the hart beating and a swiftly pass James potter asleep on the couch with some blonde... I think 5th year Ravenclaw, if I am correct. How pitiful, James is pitiful. But all of a sudden a hear a grumble and I feel poisoned again, but why. I collect my thoughts and leave and go to the only place where is can find solitude the library.   
  
I go to the back wall and I think to myself of all the pain and devastation my thoughts bring me, but then I realize they are the only ones who care. I hear someone enter and there they are the Hazel Eyes...  
  
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A/N: This chapter was short i know but the next one is going to be longer.

R&R

-D-

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	2. Poison

**My Happy Ending.**

**Chapter 2: Poison**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter.

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They came closer, and I felt weaker... What was happening to me? I thought, nothing seemed real and just for a moment I forget the hurt, but those eyes kept poisoning me, it was like a rush, it was like I wasn't there those eyes are like a mask that hide the true being underneath.

I stood up and I realized whom those hazel eyes were because he spoke, "Lily," I do not reply why does he have such power over me. He was invading my thoughts, my world. I do not reply, for fear of finding out who is the true person behind that mask, those eyes... "Lily..." he says again but more cautiously, but still in that same tone. "I woke up as you were leaving the common room, it is still dark and I got a bit worried, ya know..." he trails off.

Him worried about me? That was a joke, he could never do that, it was he the all mighty James Potter, but with his words I felt hatred, I don't know why it was probably because he was just trying to do this to become popular. "Oh really?" I say coolly, I don't know what is coming over me. But my thoughts were racing and I knew that he was not being real... not being true... and for some reason that bugged me more than anything. "Since when have you ever cared about me Potter?" I continue.

"Lily this isn't like you, I was just worried that's all okay?" I could tell that he was getting angry but he is that one who is changing how they truly feel the one who is lying. "Well I don't need your worry!" And that was it at that moment I knew that the poison of his hazel eyes left me and I knew at the moment that as long as I hated him, I could stay in this world of mine.

I walked out, but as I reached the door I could sense him following me, so I sped up but before I even turned the corner, I felt a warm presents grabbing onto me. "Lily, listen to me." He said pleading but I couldn't let that poison enter my body, I couldn't let him take over my thoughts. "Get off me Potter." I spit those words out. But I can't give in... not to him.

I walk off, and I hear the distant shouting of him, yelling my name. And that was it. I walk back to the now brightly lit common room, putting on the same fakeness I put on every morning and walk upstairs to my dorm; the only one up is jade, applying her face. "Hello Lily, nice day isn't it?" She says brightly "Oh ... yeah." The words just come out, they are not from me, but from the empty sell that I live my life in.

After about 10 more minutes I leave, more people waking up, more people to deal with. I walk to breakfast and sit alone sit at the far end of the table. The only ones there when I got there, was 2 second years and to my surprise James Potter and Sirius Black.

I sit at the opposite end of the table and avoid the glances that I am getting from Potter and Black, I cant look at them, I just cant, something is coming over me, and he will not be the one to break my world.

Sirius Black is handsome; well that is what people tell me anyway, I have never really have a conversation so I would never know. He comes over and sits beside me leaving Potter alone. "Miss Evans, would you mind telling me exactly why you hate my good friend Jamesie all of a sudden?" These words shock me I don't know what to say. I never thought that I hated him; I just could never be poisoned again. I couldn't tell him that though he would not understand my world my thoughts and I would not open up to him. "Um...it's complicated." I say I cannot stomach another word so in silence I get up and leave again.

I race out of the door and walk to my place my sanctuary the place that no one can bug me...the library. I sit at the back of the room once more and get over taken be my thoughts, my life.

**_(Flash Back)_**

"Hey there you freak," A cold voice says, I don't even have to turn around I know who it is. "Would you mind leaving this house and never coming back, it's not like your wanted here anyway." She cackled and walks back into her room to meet her friends.

My mother died when I was very young and my dad remarried and a year later I had Petunia. She is 1 year younger than me and still haunts my thoughts. My dad is always away on business and can never really see what goes on when he is not there.

I Sit in the bathroom and look into the mirror and hate what I see... A purple bruise is just now beginning to appear, from this morning when my step mom through a porcine lamp at me it hit my cheek and broke causing a split lip and a bruise.

But its not like I'm not used to it, I just take it and go up to the bathroom, lock the door and hate what I see in the mirror. If my father ever knew he would probably leave her, but whenever I used to tell him my Step mom and Step sister would just say I was lying and though I know he believed me he would not say so. So eventually I just gave up, and I keep this abuse to myself.

I don't know how long I had been sitting there in the bathroom, but there was an over whelming pain on my cheek and I couldn't open one eye. I hear banging on the door and I go and see who it is. Is it Petunia, "I am going out be back tomorrow, DON'T touch any of my stuff, I refuse to have whatever you got on it!" she says, her 2 friends sniggering behind her, "Oh yeah..." she continues, "this is well...just for being you."

He two friend's come around and just start holding me down, though I am older she is taller, and her friends are much fatter and stronger. Then petunia comes and just starts beating me, I plead for her to stop and I try to get out but there are 3 of them and only one of me. She rips my shirt and then ties me with a rope that she brought in with her; my only thought was that she was going to kill me I knew that she would if she really wanted to. But no she just takes the vase that was sitting on the window sail and hits me over the head with it. I am chocking on my blood, and I cant breath, I am out.

**_(End of Flashback)_**

I think back to last summer when that happened. It wasn't one of the worst things that have happened in that house. But it is one of the most recent. Imp 15 now in my 5th year. And I still have not been able to open up to people; I am still scared of getting hurt. My Step mom and sister always say how ugly I am, and how I am trash, and I have really started to believe it.

I dwell on these thoughts; I hate the life that I live. But I have to deal with it. I bell rings and that is a sign that class in about to start. I quickly go and get my things and race to my favorite class, Charms. I thin I like it because I am good at it, I excel at it. And that also gives my some light on the darkness inside.

Remus Lupin calls me over and willingly except the invitation, I would rather sit beside him than anyone. "Hey Re." I say, but though my words sound happy, there is nothing happy in my voice. "Hey Flower." He is the only one who calls me Flower as a true name, as a friend. Any one else I usually tell them not to. "My flower can I ask you something?" He says with a ting of nervousness in his voice. "Um...I guess." I say same fake happiness, same emptyness. "Well would you... um would you..." He stutters, I think I know what's coming and I cant he doesn't know me, the true me and I don't know him. "Can we talk after class." I say hurriedly.

And for the rest of class silence hangs over my head. But it is almost as though I don't want it could not be true. I like the solitude, the feeling of being alone, and no hurt. Something inside of turning and, I cant tell what it is.

For the rest of the day, everything goes okay, Remus has not talked to me yet, and I have not had to deal with Potter. I sit in class with my thoughts as usual and take notes, but I still see no point. It is like something is missing, Jest before dinner though 4 girls came up to me.

"Hey Lily!" a voice says behind me in a sicken sweet voice. I turn to see four popular girls behind me. "Oh hi Trish." I say turning to leave; I don't like this being around people, having to be fake. "You know Lissa, and Kate... oh and of course jade?" Trish says, even more sweetly. "We were wondering if you wanted to sit with us at dinner." "Oh I don't know..." I say trying to get our of it. "Great common we are meeting James and his group." But before I could do anything Lissa and Kate had linked arms with me and was dragging me to the dinner table.

Trisha in front of us, swooshing her long curly, chestnut hair from side to side. Smiling and pretending to care about anyone. As we walk to the table I suddenly loose my appetite. I am in a sandwich between these people. And I can sense heads staring.

"James!" Trish shouts, and I get dragged along and we walk to the end of the table and sit, "Hey babe..." says James a hint of boredom in his voice, only sensed by me. What is going on? I tell myself suddenly, why do I care so much? No time for my own thoughts one again, because I get thrown into another useless airhead conversation. But I get dived from this nightmare, but none other than Remus. "Lila, can I have a word?" he says. I don't want to go but it is better then staying here. "Uh... sure." Lissa suddenly gives me a nasty look, and stands up takes his arm and walks out. Me on their trail. I leave with them but I do the opposite direction. And feel like I am falling and I can't stop. A feeling suddenly comes over me, and I am alone.

I run outside and to the lake, it is dark now, for it is November. The sun has just set and there is a blue haze still in the sky. The lake looks black, and as a cool breeze fills the air, the lake looks like it is freezing over. Tears in my eyes, I fall to the ground, and just let it all out.

It is the only way I can let out my feelings is by the blackness of night. I cry to let out what the true feeling beneath my skin, shriek. I cry, and I do not care for the time, it is not like any one would go looking for me not like any one would care. After a while of being out there looking into the darkness. I hear something, a crack a rustle of trees. I get up instantly of course.

"Who is it... whose there?" I say a crack in my voice.

"Lily?" Comes the reply.

"Who is there?" I say quickly wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Where are you? Hold on wait there... CRAP!!!"

"James..." I say. Great now he will go on to every one about me I cant state it and I run. I run from every thing and once more I am left alone, I keep running though, not willing to stop, not waiting for anyone.

I awake, with a bright empty room in my wake. Not remembering how I got there... I slowly make my way down to the common room, no one there great. And I am engulfed in a book, not a great book, one that is unrealistic, one with a happy ending, I have read it many times, my Dad gave it to me for my second birthday.

I hear someone come down the stairs, I don't even turn around, and a blur go red Quidditch robes and blonde girl, run by, and don't even look back. Probably Trish and James. Then I remembered that it was a game today, Ravenclaw against Griffindore. It should have started 20 minutes ago. Oh well.

An hour later, no one is back so I decide to take a walk, to clear my head. I look out the window and realize that a light frost glittered the ground, and the air was cool and crisp. It was a Saturday, and I would soon be back in the library, and the very last table, behind the ancient spell books that nobody needed, doing my work, only emerging for meals. But this didn't bug me, I didn't mind being secluded. That was what I fond to be welcoming, something that I could always count on. I will I could be normal happy, not have to be fake...laugh. But that is all behind me, not something that I am now.

Chants, and yells can be herd, "GRIFFINDORE, GRIFFINDORE, GRIFFINDORE ..." Slowly comes by, and slowly creeps away, there will probably be a party tonight, hosted by Sirius Black. Both him and James are on the Quidditch team. Now I have no chance to go back to get to sleep, into my own world.

We all know that their own groups will surround James and Sirius and I will not join in. I get interrupted from the thoughts as I hear some one enter the library. Its Rumus, what is he doing here? My question soon answered and as he walks towards me, I can't help but shudder.

"Lily?" he asks so kindly, so concerned.

"Hi Re." I say simply.

"Are you going to the Party tonight?"

"No."

"Oh... Are you even going to come out for dinner?"

"No."

"Lily...can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Would you ever go out with someone... someone like me?" His pale eyes so cold right now, I hate to see him like this, but yet I try to pull away.

"Someone like you?"

"Yes... you know."

"Oh..." that is all I can manage, nothing else wants to come out. I cant stand this, why do I care, when all I want to do is pull away. "Re, you are who you are and I like you for that." Simple, yet I could tell that is not what he was looking for and he stands, his eyes, like looking at ice... like mine.

He gets up to walk away but manages to say one last thing. "James wants you there tonight Lily, please don't break his hart." And he is gone, left cold, and I did that. I swore to myself when I got to Hogwarts not to let any one into my life, but as time goes on, I get stronger, and weaker.

It is late and I make my way to the common room, as I enter and walk across the carpet, I see at least 4 small heads peering though the banister, to the girls Dorm. They are talking very loud, and I hear part of their conversation.

"...I cant believe that it is only 4th year and up!" Says one with brown hair, with red highlights, she was very pretty for her age.

"I know this sucks, but that 4th year invited you..." I didn't get to hear the rest as I quickly walk past. An up to my dorm, alone I sit by the window, thinking that I have been here before, but and event like this has not crossed my mind.

There are laughing and the pattering of feet and in come my four dorm mates, oh great, now I have to pretend to give a crap about them, pretend to be their friend.

"Lily!" Oh it was Jade, I know that this has happened before now, but I still go on with what happened in my dream.

"Oh hello, what are you doing back up here Jade? I thought there has a party in the common room 4th years and up?" I say.

"Well, you see from the state of my robes that Mr. Black dumped punch on me. But what are you going to do?" She says as she stares to get undressed and into another set of robes.

"Yeah... what." I sat confused. "What do you think of me?" I ask, I don't know why, I feel shocked and I leave the room.

Downstairs there was the usual crowed around Potter and Black. The blonde skinny ones... the popular ones. But as I entered that room, the venom of the poison that I felt engulfed me, once again, but I fought it, unlike my dream, and I went and sat by the fire, gazing at it dance, until he came up behind me...

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**What do you think?**

**R&R PLEASE!**

**Next Chapter- An argument may happen, and Lily get put with some one she is not to fond of in Transfiguration.**


	3. Faint

My Happy Ending

Faint

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He sat down right in front of me gazing emptily like me into the fire. Eventually he spoke. "Why to you hate me all of a sudden Evans?" Evans? No one has ever just called me by my last name before... well expect for teachers. "I mean what did it do?" he continued.

And for a moment I sat there and thought. I thought of anything that he should have done, that would protect me from myself for the truth.

"What you've don't Potter? What you've done?" I start speaking, my voice rising, I thought of exactly the reason, or should I say a reason, to hate him. "Well it has come to my attention that, for starters, you always need someone to pick on, hexing people just because you can. You strut around here like you own the place, which you DON'T! You are always in trouble, always playing pranks, always craving attention, you never pay any attention in class, and yet you still manage to get top marks... probably by cheating, speaking about cheating, you are with a new girl each week. To sum it all up, because I could go on forever, a CARELESS, ARROGENT, CINIVING, MESSY-HAIRED IDIOT, AND I WOULD NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU, IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!" (James has asked me out every year since we got here, and I have always gently put him down.) After my speech and many stares that were coming from every direction I calmly stood up and walked out the door.

I was walking quickly away, anywhere was better than there, back in that place, with him... those hazel eyes. I lean up against a wall and slide down it, tears once again prickling the back of my eyes like they do every day, they are never dry any more. I think about how fake I have to be, I already am, just to conceal me true feelings. But then I think about how, conniving Potter really is and how he should be hated and it puts me to ease, even though I'm still crying.

I hear someone coming, and yelling my name, I would have usually gotten up, and slipped into an empty classroom, but I was paralyzed. It was like my tears were weighing me down. No one has ever seen me cry here, never shown my real hurt. But for some reason, that didn't matter to me right now. Remus comes around the corner panting, still calling my name, he see's me and slides down the wall like I did still trying to catch his breath, still trying to catch my gaze.

"Lily what has gotten into you?" there is a tinge of anger in his voice, but after all james is one of his bestfriends. "I mean all of a sudden you hate James, and talking so cold to every one that wants to be nice to you... well except for me..." he doesn't try to meet my gaze any longer, he knows that it is know use, and yet, I want to see if he is still so cold, still like me.

"Remus... Re...look at me." He moves his head and I see the thing that I was most worried about, he was freezing over, like I did so many years ago, it is hard to get warmth into you, after that, hard for people to get in. His eyes are like ice, and I don't know why... Why do I care so much? I think. It must have been awhile because, he spoke again.

"Lily, you know that I do care about you... but I cant go on like this... you not letting me inside--"

"Re, you know that I cant you know that its hard--"

"I know, but I thought that after 2 years, you would soften, notice that I only wanted to help, not hurt, I have never asked you for anything, but I need you to do this for me, I need for you to let me in..."

"I know, but its just hard, I need time..."

"Then I will give you time, when you actually want to talk to me, you know where I am... I have wanted to know you, help you, but I see I can no longer be of services, so when you need me, I hope I still need you!" His voice so cold, it gave me chills, and that was it, the last I saw of Remus, far a while, Monday came and went, and so it was Tuesday, a long day that was.

I stood outside the transfiguration room, we have it with the students from Ravenclaw every day but Monday. It was usually uneventful but today, it was different. Professer McGonagall and swishing around the corner, and flew inside the classroom, the rest of the class started filing in, and taking their usual seats, but she quickly spotted them and sent us all to the back of the room.

"For the rest for the year we are going to be doing very difficulty transformations of both animals and students, I would like you all to pair up I boy/girl partners, and I will be placing you around the room, if there are and disruptions I will change your partners... well go on then." I give a hopeful glance at Remus, but he is already paired up with Lissa. I shot another glance at Ray from Ravenclaw no such luck he was paired to... the only one that didn't have a pair was James. No. I thought silently, please any one but him.

"Does every one have a partner?" Those words go through the air, and like air they were invisible. I did not answer. And then the next thing I knew I was sitting beside Potter, I wasn't really there though, I mean it was me, but not really. My body was there but my mind was else where. But, I soon came crashing to the ground... Literally. "Lily!" I hear James's voice shout, but I cant respond. I am aware of every thing what is going on yet I cant move, I am parilized. Something weird came over me, and I am now lieing on the floor, dead on the outside, but yet, I am still there, and there is warmth around me, there is hope, and I feel warm soft hands pick me off the ground, and I am happy.

Those soothing hands, that soothing touch, I am alive for the first time in a really long time, I can feel warmth, and I open my eyes, and I see, him beside me. And this time the warmth stays a little longer... but like always it goes away. And I am hit with a sudden rush of cold, and darkness, that is it unbearable.

But yet when I look at him, he is so beautiful, and I know that I cant have him, I wont allow myself to. Even though he is the one who can show me warmth... he also brings me to a place that I cant bare.

I fall into a trace again. The rest of the day remains hazy and I can only remember those, hazel eyes, and the love they hold. But I can have him, I cant.

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What do you think? R&R

Next Chapter even better... More of Jade!


	4. Black Roses

MY HAPPY ENDING!

**CHAPTER: 4**

_BLACK ROSES_

I wake up, at 6:00am and another crazy day, whoever said that life was fair, didn't know life at all. The morning is finally here and I can't help but think of the words of the only one who has known me as, a living thing. I turn over and I notice that there is a bit of parchment there.

"Lily," it read... "I cant talk you into being open, but maybe I can show you... meet me on the Quidditch Pitch at 8:30, maybe you can live..." The note ended with a beautifully drawn rose, the rose was all black except for one red petal.

I thought about it, and weather to except the offer from the stranger, and I finally decided that I should, after all... maybe I should try to, try to be friendly, to Re... but what if it wasn't him.

Beside the bed I saw a parcel in black parchment, and red writing, it read Lily... what is going on today? I thought as I ripped the parcel open, it was a beautiful necklace, a beautiful enchanting locket. Of the surface it read, Find The Key? And there was a little key hole, but no key.

Suddenly there were noises, and I quickly pocketed the locket and slipped into the bathroom, before the voices emerged from the hall.

"Oh sorry..." Said a squeaky voice, Lily remembered it was Trish, but what was she doing in here, this wasn't her house. "Guys don't!" I hear jade scream.

"Oh shut up!" Two evil voices say, probably Kat and Lissa.

"Now then where is that little bitch?" Trish says.

"She isn't a bitch... she is actually nice, well most of the time..." I hear Jade plead.

"Deal with her you to!" Trish says, presumably to Kate and Lissa, I hear a struggle going on, and some laughter, before a blood curdling scream.

"Just leave her, common we will find that little slut... That Lily Evans!" I hear their laughter leave and I quickly run out to find Jade on the ground, blood spilled all over.

"Oh MY GOD!" I Quickly ran over to her... "Are you alright?"

"Ya... I got a pretty bad cut on the back of the head when they threw me on the floor though."

"here hold on!" I race to the bathroom to get a towel, and place it on jades head. "what did they want any way?"

After a few seconds of delay, "You..." Came the response.

The rest of the day was spent up in the dorm, I didn't even come out for classes. Then the clock strikes 8 and I decide to go and find the writer of the note.

I slowly walked out of the dorm, and made my way out of the common room, the halls had a sort vacancy though it was only 8. the wind blew and I could head it through the window I was now passing, I put my hands in my pocket and grasp the small locket.

I exit the door that leads to the Quidditch pitch, and I could see I figure standing there with a broom in his hands. As I near I could tell that I should just turn back, but my heat screamed to go on... so I did.

The figure turned as I neared and, I knew then that I should have turned back. But it was too late James had already seem me and was nearing. Then he spoke as our faces met. "Get on." He said, this was no joke I could tell, his eyes we almost black and so I did the one thing the broke me free the one thing that I thought would give me light... I got on.

We few high in the sky and I could feel his warmth, the love that he held, but I knew that the darkness and I couldn't bare to go any farther, but I could also not speak, for he was so empowering, and so I gave in, I just gave into every emotion, and then it was over, as soon as it began. We landed by the lake, right by a old oak tree.

"Well?" he spoke. I said nothing.

"am I really that bad?"

"no... its just... well I cant ...you me..." I put my hands in my pockets and I grab onto the thing that was left on the night table. "What is this?" I asked befor I thought.

"It's a locket." He said dully.

"But with no key?"

"It does you just have to be in love before you find it."

"Then why did you give it to me?"

"Because I already know who I love."

"You do?"

"Yes. Why so many questions, for the past few days you have hated me?"

"I... I don't know."

"Lily?"

"Yes James?"

"Would you come to the Christmas ball with me?"

"Oh James... I really don't know..."

"Don't say no, we both need this."

"Okay... on one condition."

"What?"

"You cant hurt me."

"Okay, deal."

After that night the days flew by, and I was once again in solitude, and I was once again all alone, but this time it was different, I had light, and right before Christmas I was going to the ball with James.

It was December 21st the ball was set for the 24th and then most of the kids would get the late night train that was arranged. There was a hogsmeade visit for today, and I decided to go, because I need a dress.

It was still early in the morning and so I decided that I would no bother to wake anyone, not that it mattered. I made my way down the streets of hogsmeade and I came across a small little shop near the outskirts of the small village, the little shop had no name out front, but a small display, drew me in.

I entered the small shop and was greeted by a small plump woman that looked very pleased to see me. "Hello, why hello, come in get out of that cold, do you need a dress?"

"Yes I actually do."

"Well come right here, hmm small nice figure red hair... ah I have the perfect thing." The lady led me through a small door into a room with many, rails of dresses, she pulled out a dress and I gasped.

"Yes its beautiful isn't it? Well go try it on." I came out of the dressing room and the lady grinned. "Its perfect." The dress was a dark green, it had a corset top with a light green ribbon tying it and came to a bow in the back, the bottom came just past my knees and was jagged and copped, but was supposed to be the that, the bottom part was made of a flowy material and I know that this was the right dress.

I quickly paid for the dress and made my way back up the streets to hogwarts.

All I had to do know was wait for the ball.

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	5. Ball

MY HAPPY ENDING!

**CHAPTER: 5**

_BALL_

Wow two updates in one day... that is such a new record, thanx to everyone that has reviewed before, i am sorry that i have not mentioned to, i am a bit slow at that... not checking my e-mails as often as i should, but anyway i hopw you like it, this is a lighter side to lily, i was is a happy mood, but this all cant last i mean this is James Potter she is dealing with... i wont let any secrets but i will be trying to get an update atleat twice a week! ;) Enjoy! And remember REVIEW!

The day of the ball had arrived, and most of the girls were up early and getting ready in other places with their friends, the only other person there when I woke up was Jade dripping wet in a towel.

"Morning Lily!" She said in a cheery voice.

"Morning."

"Are you going to the dance?"

"Yes... are you?"

"Of course, but wait I thought that you didn't like dances?"

"Well this is ..." I cant think of an excuse... "I am going with some one.... Are you?" I finish lamely. For about 3 weeks I have not cried once, and I have actually been going out with Jade places.

"Oh yes I am!" she says, and a rose color comes across her face.

"Who?" I say.

"Sirius Black! Isn't it wonderful! I mean I have liked him but didn't tell any one because of Kat, but now that she is out of the picture..." she just trails off into a grin.

"I'm happy for you." I say sincerely.

"And you?"

"Me What?"

"Who are you going with?"

"James Potter." I say and walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I drop my clothes and get into the shower, but I hear a banging at the door, suds in my hair, I wrap a towel around me and go and answer it.

"Oh hey Lily, I was wondering... well I always get ready for the Christmas Ball with Trish and them, I always do their hair, and makeup, but I don't have any one to get ready with, would you want to?" Jade speaks to nervously, she likes me I can see that so I do not decline.

And now here a sit 2 hours before the dance and as Jade does my hair and makeup, I Lily Evans for the first time in years feel wanted.

"There." She says finally, "Now don't look yet, first put on your dress... you do have one right?"

"Oh yes I do..." I do as she says and go and get changed in the bathroom. I come out moments later.

"Oh my gosh, Lily you look amazing!"

"Really?" And then it happened a grin came across my face, and it was real to. My hair fell into elegant curls, with a single green pin on one side. She did my makeup so that it was natural but fab. She put on dark green eye shadow and black eyeliner, with mascara. And shimmer powder on my cheeks.

"Now you! Into your dress we only have 15 minutes left."

Jade came out in a stunning light purple strapless dress, which was made to fit he body, there was sequins on the bottom of a silver color, and the bottom flowed out. Her long brown hair was straightened and then flipped out with sparkles all through it.

"You look amazing!" I said.

"Thanks we better go and meet the guys."

We walked down the stairs to find a heap of guys waiting at the bottom for their dates. James and Sirius came and rescued us though, as we were now being swarmed. They were both wearing black suits and back shits underneath, but James had on a green tie, while Sirius, had a dark almost black purple tie.

"You look amazing." James whispered and held out his hand, I accepted.

We made our way to the Great hall which was not a huge dance floor with tables for two and four scattered throughout. As we walked in the door, a slow song started.

"Would you care for a dance?" James asked.

"I would love one."

As we started to dance he spoke, "I am glade to be here with you."

"As am I." I said, "James?"

"Yes?"

"Why me?"

"what do you mean, 'Why You?'"

"I mean you could have dome here with any other girl but me, and I was so cold to you."

"You were the only girl that mattered."

"Do you want a drink?" He asked when the song ended.

"Sure." I said and I made my way to go and sit with Jade and Sirius.

"Hey Lily, having a good time?" Jade asked, as she detangled with Sirius, but at she tried to get up, Sirius just pulled her back down on his lap.

James came back and offered me the drink he had gotten.

"Would you like to go for a walk, it is awfully hot in here."

"Sure." I say simply, and I grasp his hand as we walk towards the lake. I sit under the tree while he goes down and dips his hand in the water to cool off.

There is one dark bit to this perfect day. I'm watching him walk down to the lake to cool off, admiring every inch of him, and suddenly it's like this cold hand seizes hold of me, this cold voice from the past says, _Don't feel so much. Or how will you feel when its over?_

I push it away, refuse to think about what the voice is saying. I tell myself, Live in the moment. But I know I cant live happy forever.

James comes back from the lake, hand dripping wet, and he sits down beside me.

"Is there something on your mind?" He asks.

"I have a question for you."

"Mmmm?" He says.

"Well, I like you, but I ... I..."

"What?" He asked a half of a grin comes across his face, oh he looks so sexy like that.

"I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to hate you, but... but..."

"Will this change your mind?" And then he kissed me and, it wasn't a lame peck, it was passionate, and we lay there rapped in each other's arms. And then it started to snow, and it was like magic.

"James..." I whispered. "I'm cold."

"Alright lets go back in." But as we started to walk toward the doors, me in his jacket, a slow song emerged from the doors, it was so loud we could hear it from outside, and then something else happened.

"Would you like so dance Lily?" He spoke so soft and with a grin. And we danced like, we would never be apart.

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Lotz of Lurv!


	6. Telling Everything

My Happy Ending

**Telling Everything**

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But all good things must come to an end, and so as the song ended, we broke away from each other.

"Do you want to go back inside, it is really cold out here?" James asked me. I nodded and we made our way back into the great hall.

"Do you want to find, Jade and Sirius?" I asked him, I was to happy to even think about how cold I was.

"Yeah, sure." James answered, and so we made our way through the crowded dance floor to a small rounded table in the back corner. Jade was on Sirius's lap and was representing England in an all out snog-a-thon.

"Ahem." I said with a smirk on.

"Oh hi Lily, James. I didn't notice you there." Jade said

"I knew you wouldn't." I said. "I'm going to get drinks, any body want one?" Three hands arose and I couldn't help but laugh as I walked away.

"Oh and bring back two pastries LILYKINS!" Sirius's voice yelled after me.

And I smiled, and was happy. The end! Well I wish I could have ended my life there at least, and told you that James and me lived happily ever after, but that was not the case. Because when I came back with the drinks no one was there, and James, was on the other side of the great hall with Trish. And I felt weak, and hurt like I had just been slapped in the face, so I did the only thing I am good at… I ran.

I don't think James noticed me leave, and if he did he didn't have the decency to come after me. And I felt stupid, stupid for getting dressed up, stupid for letting James and Jade in, but most of all stupid doe allowing myself to care, and start to feel, when so long ago I swore I never would.

_'But this cant be true,'_ I told myself over and over again; _'James was so sincere'_. _"He was lying cant you see?"_ the voice in the back of my head said.

I ran, for what felt like forever, until I just couldn't run any more, and then I just gave up and blacked out.

The next day I awoke with a splitting headache and a tear stricken face, I was also in my dorm… '_Odd I don't remember running here'_. Then I saw him; right on the edge of my bed and something came over me, poison. I was in shock for a moment wondering how he got up here, then I remembered all of what happened last night, and cringed. I just could take it, I trusted him, I let him in, and here he sleeps peacefully, after being with **HER.** No I couldn't take it. And that's when I lashed out.

I don't remember exactly what I said, only that he was shocked and I ran into the bathroom before he could explain himself, not that there was anything to explain. _He lied_. End of story. But that was a while ago, a couple of weeks ago, and the snow filled ground of Hogwarts was starting to melt, to let patches of green pop up at random places.

And once again, however painfully pathetic it seems, I am alone, and Jade is off with her new boyfriend…happy, and James is off with Trish…happy. And I am in the library already starting my revision for exams, alone. And that's how I will always be, alone. Because I can't let myself loose control of what is going on in front of me. I will never be happy. '_But I was happy_,' I tell myself, '_I was happy with him.'_

However true that is, that is not in the equation any more. Then the doors open to the library and I cant bare to look up, at another group of chattering people, but when I hear footsteps coming my way and a voice asks my name nervously, I am drawn to the deep warmness. And I am shocked at what I see.

"Re?" **(AN: I was going to leave it here, but this chap isn't long enough lol)**

"Yes Lily its me." He replies coldly.

"Well what do you want?" I ask trying to keep the cold out of my voice at his reply.

Then he said two words I was not expecting, "James back."

"What?" I say startled.

"You herd me…"

"Re I--"

"No Lily you have hurt too many people already, you basically killed James that night, Jade is a mess, Sirius doesn't know how to comfort her, she thinks that this is all her fault, and most of all, me. You left me when I needed some one, you know that James and Sirius cant understand but you do, and you ignored me." He spat the last few words, then sighed. "I told you to come to me when you were ready, but I… they…uh…do you get it?" he could barley talk so many emotions consuming him.

"I… I didn't…know…" then I realized what I was saying, and anger bubbled inside of me. "Wait, James left me that night at the ball to be with Trish, who is, if I am not mistaken his new girlfriend. Sirius I did nothing to! Jade… well I will have to talk to her, I just basically want everyone off my back!"

"What about me Lily!"

"You… Remus, why are you forcing me to open up, when I so desperately don't want to, I just was to be left alone in my own solitude!"

"Because I know that it's not true! Cant you tell by know that I see right through you, cant you see that after all these years, all you want is some one to break through, no matter how scared you are. Cant you see--"

"THAT'S ENOUGH REMUS!" I screamed. And without having to be told I left the library, and once again I was running, but unlike the other times I have some one chasing me, and this person is much faster and gabs a hold of me just as I am about to turn the corner.

"NO LILY!" he yells, then lowers his enraged voice. "I wont let you run any more." And with those words, I do something I have never done in front of anyone else, I cried, and I fell to the ground in his arms and told him every thing. And after I said everything, about my loneliness and my solitude, I cried more, until I had no tears left to cry, and he smiles, because he was the one that broke through, he was the one that gave me hope… that saved me from such cold grasps of emotion, and the death inside me.

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AN: well? What do you think of my new chapter, this story is not done yet, I just had writers block for a while, I wasn't sure how to continue this, well any way lets hope I get reviews, I need to know weather to continue or not. 


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